Do you ever find yourself in situations where you need to give tough feedback to someone and you know it’s going to be a hard conversation? It could be in your personal or professional life, however, regardless of the setting, the action is still going to be challenging.

Or there might be a project that you own, and someone contributing to it has delivered you a piece of work that you know they’ve poured their heart into, however, there’s so much missing from it that you don’t even know where to start to guide them from.

I’ve recently been finding myself getting into these types of situations, so I thought it would be an interesting topic to shed some light on, as the more people I talk to about it, the more I realise these experiences are surprisingly common across various contexts. From constantly dealing with various contractors and manufacturers across multiple areas of the travel journal project, I’m learning more and more about the importance of giving clear, direct and constructive feedback.

How to approach giving feedback

When I was in my full-time role, the company had invested significant resources in ensuring that people managers had thorough and effective training in leadership and management. I was fortunate enough to be in a role that required this training, and after having gone through a couple of leadership programs, I noticed that the areas I used to view as my weaknesses had been slowly developing their way into strengths.

One particular area that I needed a lot of focus and attention on was around giving feedback. I’ve always been good at receiving feedback, and I feel I’ve always been good at delivering ‘easy’ feedback to someone, but when it would come to having those difficult conversations, that’s where the cracks would start to show.

Together with my manager, and some extra training, I worked on this area quite a bit. The skills I learnt during my time in that role have followed me into this new journey, and I’m continually working to improve them. I don’t believe there’s one magic bullet to delivering feedback, as a lot of it depends on the other person, and their personality (as well as your own personality), however, this is generally what I try to stick to:

Understanding

Having a complete understanding is probably one of the most important steps when it comes to giving feedback. For example, when someone has presented me with a piece of work I’m not happy with or that doesn’t align with what I had envisioned, I always try to first understand if there was an issue in the instructions provided or the way the instructions were interpreted.

More times than not, there’s usually an issue with the way the instructions were provided which then leads to a misinterpretation of them. When something is submitted and it doesn’t meet my expectations, the first question I ask myself is, “Was my feedback good enough to guide them to produce something that I was expecting?”. And if it wasn’t, then I need to reflect on what I could have done better.

If it was a super clear brief or instruction provided, then this will lead to an open conversation about the discrepancy between what was requested and what was delivered.

Being specific

I’ve learnt that the clearer and more specific I am when delivering feedback, the higher the chance I have of receiving something that aligns with my vision.

It’s not good enough for me to simply say, “I want this to look good” or, “I don’t like it”. Instead, I need to describe what it is I’m looking for. Statements like this are overused EVERYWHERE and they’re really not helpful.

A classic example is with design projects. Something I’ve noticed quite a bit with some people giving feedback on design projects is the use of unhelpful statements such as “I want this to look good” or “I don’t like it”. It’s always interesting to understand why their ‘feedback’ lacks depth. And usually, the response is because the person giving the feedback doesn’t have any design experience, so they find it difficult to instruct on.

Having worked with many designers, I find that they often love elements such as basic sketches, examples or whatever type of inspiration you can provide them that helps to capture your vision. Using sites like Pinterest can actually help a lot in this area! You just simply type in the inspiration you’re looking for and then provide examples to the designer, for example, “leather journal cover ideas”. The idea is for the designer not to directly copy what you provide them, but with their artistic flair and creativity, it certainly creates an excellent starting point. And the best part is that no prior design knowledge is required!

Using a constructive tone

And lastly, using a constructive tone.

Feedback doesn’t need to be wrapped inside a parcel of bright, positive comments – this can actually do more damage than good as overly positive feedback can be perceived as being insincere and exaggerated, therefore negatively impacting credibility and trust.

The best thing I try to remember is to be objective, leave subjectivity out of it and depending on how the other person best responds to feedback, I try to adapt my delivery based on their needs. This avoids running into the ‘one size fits all’ issue that many face.

Now then – where’s the connection between this and what I’ve been focusing on with the travel journal?

Well, with the travel journal, I’ve surrounded myself with various contractors (some of them on contracts that span across several months), and so, ensuring that the project runs as smoothly as possible, it’s necessary for me to deliver the right feedback at the right time.

I’ve realised also that there’s quite a big difference between giving someone feedback in your role at a company vs. when you’re working for yourself, as the quality of the feedback you give someone when working on your own has the ability to directly impact what you’re trying to build. And if you don’t get it right, your own project timelines or potential customers will likely not be as flexible and understanding as your boss at work.

By having more on the line and more to lose, it’s crucial that feedback is delivered in the best way possible, as at the end of the day, you’re going to be the one that has to deal with the outcomes.

There are always three types people to think about when giving feedback

To help break through any hesitations or reservations when it comes to delivering quality feedback, I found that it can be quite helpful to think about the three types of people that will be impacted (positively or negatively) by the feedback:

• Ourselves
• The person receiving the feedback
• The customer

Sometimes it can tempting to let things go for the sake of avoiding conflict, however, as you can see, there’s a lot at stake, and by not having those quality conversations in order to deliver constructive feedback, the long term implications will be far greater than the temporary, short-term ‘peace’.

If we think about ourselves, it can be helpful to imagine how a project is going to function if the other person isn’t provided with the necessary feedback required to produce a better outcome. This might have implications such as delays to timelines, lower quality work and even extra expenses required to find additional support.

Now let’s think about the person receiving the feedback.

If the impacts of someone’s work on ourselves or the project isn’t a big enough reason to give this person the best feedback possible, then thinking about the person requiring the feedback and how this can impact them in the long run can definitely assist.

Giving constructive feedback isn’t about hurting someone’s feelings or making them feel bad. It’s about helping them to see a better way forward or a more suitable approach. If it’s to do with quality of work, there’s a chance that this person might not be aware of gaps in their skillset, and so, providing them feedback can spark conversations for additional professional development.

Delaying feedback, particularly when someone is anticipating guidance from you, does the greatest disservice to their development.

I also get it – naturally we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But we also want the best for them in terms of growth and development. So finding the best way to achieve this is an endless learning curve for us all.

And what about the customer?

Almost everything we do when it comes to running a business or starting a new project has got to find a way to link back to the customer. The customer should always be at the heart of what we do, so if by not giving feedback when required, or in a way that’s required, means that the customer’s experience will somehow be impacted in a negative way, then this is usually a really good sign to have a good chat with the other person.

I always keep this front of mind. I know that at the end of the day I’m striving to create a product which serves others and makes them feel like they want to repeatedly use it, so in order for that to happen, holding off from delivering feedback when required could negatively impact on one of the core values of my brand.

Delivering quality feedback is a skill (like many others) that I’m constantly working on improving, and a lot of what I’ve learnt has been from trial and error.

As I reflect on the dynamics of delivering feedback, the most important take away for me, and hopefully for you too, is this: if you hold back from delivering constructive feedback or having those tough conversations, it’s not just the other person who misses out on growth—it’s you and the customer who ultimately suffer the consequences. Embrace the power of impactful feedback, for it’s through these conversations that we shape not only others’ trajectories but also our own path toward continuous improvement and success.